99 THINGS I’D RATHER DO THAN WATCH OBAMA
(aside from listening to the Lion’s Share on Puma United Radio (PURrrr!) at 8pm eastern (that’s right now!). Click on the link on the right sidebar to tune your cat channel in to Sheri, Riverdaughter, and me as we DON’T talk about Ross Perot barack obama as he buys our airwaves. Pssst! Watch “Pushing Daisies” on ABC — put their ratings through the roof!)
1. Watch a different tv program
2. Blog at PumaPAC
3. Watch a DVD or video
4. Listen to archive blog talk radio programs
5. Listen to a CD
6. Read a book or magazine
7. Clean your house
8. Clean my house
9. Play a board game
10. Do your laundry
11. Surf the web
12. Watch YouTube videos
13. Mail flyers to addresses in critical state phone books
14. Call a friend on the phone
15. Do a Prowl
16. Write an email to a friend
17. Do more Prowls
18. Play the piano (or instrument of your choice)
19. Do some exercising
20. Play a card game
21. Search for graphics for Puma PAC
22. Work on your family’s scrapbooks
23. Phone Bank for one of the opposing candidates
24. Work on your favorite hobby: Defeating ouhuhblahblah
25. Watch paint dry and grass grow
26. Visualize McCain/ Palin being sworn in.
27. Remove the last couple of NObama signs in your town.
28 Watch no name concede
29. Pray/Meditate for peace
30. Clean the litter box
31. Rake up all the leaves in my yard.
32 Get a colonoscopy
33- visit proctologist
34- get tooth extraction
35- chew on tin foil
36 seal a bag of hungry rats over my head
37- have fingernails pulled out
38- swim laps at the sewage treatment plant
39- look directly into the sun….
40-Go down hill skiing in the nude
41 Take a walk and look for UFO’s
42. Stick knitting needles in my eyes
43. Drink a few hot toddies by the fire
44.Build a snowman.
45. Catch snowflakes on my tongue.
46. Paint my house in the dark.
47.Sit on the beach and watch the waves.
48. Curl my hair.
49. Shave my legs.
50. Clean my gutters.
51. Rake leaves.
52. Stand on my head.
53. Walk aroud the block backwards.
54. kiss a gator
55. eat nutria
56. take a swamp bath
57. scratch my eyes out
58. shovel horse shit
59. Play dot to dot on ohiopubbie’s freckles.
60. Catch fireflies.
61. Step on spiders.
62. Wack bees.
63. Roast chestnuts on an open fire.
64. Get run over by a reindeer.
65. Pass out 200 more Freddiebrown PUMA flyers
66. 58. count my freckles
67. learn bird calls
68. hunt for centipedes
69. Apply suppositories to rabid gorillas
70. take Lucifer on in a game of chess
71. slam my head against the wall
72. Set a big Cajun named Bubba beat the crap out of me
73. Smell cat urine
74. Pluck hairs out of my nose.
75. Give the dog a bath and squeeze his glands, yuck.
76. Might as well clip the dog’s nails.
77. Change a poopy diaper.
78. Get a bikini wax.
80. Eat the asshole of a skunk. (nice one Taggles, nice one.)
81. Help my granna dig out her outhouse.
82. Give Barney Frank a lap dance. (bad, BAD puma bythelake )
83. Have a pizza party
84. Go shopping
85. play computer games
86. e-mail 10 friends 10 reasons not to vote for OB
87. take a big long snooze
88. paint my fingernails
89. Count blades of grass.
90. Make a hand made apron.
91. Learn how to become a gymnast in 10 short, if not also painful, lessons.
92. Watch someone drone on and on on C-Span.
93. Have Chicken Pox
94. Wear shoes three sizes too small on a mile run
95. Watch the greatest re-runs of bad 80s infomercials for Ronco Products
96. Listen to nails on a chalkboard
97. Read Daily Kos
98. Have my gums scraped.
99. Listen to Jay Z
100. get a root canal with no novacaine.
101. Eat dryer lint.
102. File my puma claws to a sharp point for Nov 5th
103. Look for a sturdy old lady cane at the GoodWill to bop Obots with
104. Light a candle for Hillary
105. Eat all the kids preHalloween candy
106. Cross Obots off my Christmas list
107. Practice saying “I told you so!” in three languages
108. Get a box ready to send obies oval office curtains to Chicago
109. Writing a thank you note, you’re almost a PUMA to Hannity and Greata
jeez. bo’s not very popular around here is he?